Elwess Talbert

I just want to state for the record that I think these things are naff, but Dahlra asked me to, and whatever Dahlra wants...

Name: Elwess Talbert Gar (nee Cregan)

Parents: Robert and Marion Cregan

Siblings: None

DOB: 12-03-1977

Place of birth: Whitechapel, London, England

Age: 40

Height: 6’2”

Weight: 13St 1lb

Hair Colour: Black

Eye Colour: Dark Brown

Identifying physical marks: Shoulder-length hair, big nose that’s been broken a few times. Various scars, tattoo on right hip

Characteristic Habits: What, like sniffing my pits before I dress, something like that? Nah, I don’t do anything of that sort.

Food of choice: Steak, medium rare, chips. Oh, maybe fish and chips. Hell, I like everything.

Drink of choice: Neisson Rhum Reserve Special. It’s this pukka rum from Martinique. I also enjoy the occasional Hoegarden.

Favourite Music: Rush, Joe Bones, that American bird that plays slide guitar. Ginger with that sexy white streak like Sydney’s? Can’t think of her name.

Note: “Finally, Elwess moved out of the shadows and Sydney got a little better look at him. He appeared about five years younger and stood at least two inches taller than Dahlra, who was himself a respectable six foot-one. Their coloring was alike, but there the similarities ended.

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Whereas Dahlra was light and shade, porcelain beauty and elegance, Elwess was severe, mysterious, eagle beautiful. He had the sparse, wiry build of a street fighter, all lean, powerful-looking limbs, large feet and graceful hands. The bridge of his prominent nose had been broken and reset at least twice. He looked like a man grown comfortable in his own skin, and one used to being obeyed.

Description: “He was dressed entirely in black: black duster coat, black shirt, black tie, black trousers, black shoes. His hair was so black it shone blue in the light. It was tied in a queue at the nape of his neck, and escaping strands hung loose on either side of his still, angular face.

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His pale skin and large nose made him look Greek or Black Irish, but Sydney would later discover he was of Romany gypsy stock. No one could have ever accused him of being classically handsome—his face was too long and his large nose too prominent. His mouth was well-defined, even expressive, but only a step away from cruel.

Arresting was the only word that came to mind; in out and out charisma, he outdid even Dahlra. He certainly had the proud, arrogant alpha male persona down pat."

Married To: No one

Last Movie Watched: Something with Nina Hartley in it.

Last Book Read: Bad Girls Need Love Too, by Gary Lovisi. Awesome coffee table book about pulp fiction

Favourite TV Show: Don't have one

Last TV Show Watched: Bullseye

Last Game Played: Scrabble, with Sydney and Dahlra. I hate that fucking game.

Greatest Fear: I don't talk about fear.

Greatest Love: Sydney

Favourite Quote: “Desire shall not preclude Dominance.”

Boxers or Briefs: Waste of time and money. Who needs them?

Watch: Welder K24, when I’m at work. A Movado Museum black watch that Sydney and Dahlra gave me for my birthday. Apparently Sydney has a thing about giving watches, who knew? A sub gave me this Timberland watch, which was very steampunk and all that, but I couldn’t figure out how to tell fucking time with it, so I gave it away.

Handbag or wallet: Gieves and Hawkes Classic Dress Wallet, Black Leather, of course

Car: At the moment, I’m thinking about trading in my old Beemer, so I’ll just have to change this later.

What Time is it while you’re filling this out: 11:30pm

Where are you: In the Chine, doing a little housework. It’s so fucking boring I thought filling this in might break the monotony. Nope.

What are you wearing: Black Joe Bonamassa T-shirt, black jeans (don’t know the label, but I bought them in that store on the King’s Road – I’ll think of it in a minute), black DMs, black leather duster coat (hanging up cause it’s so frikkin’ hot in here) Oh, and Sex Pistols Cologne (Dahlra said I needed to include everything)

What’s in your closet: A whole lotta black. T-shirts, dress shirts, a few suits, trousers, leather trousers, shoes, ties, my favourite riding crop, a fire-proof box with some private stuff in it. Passport, suitcases, extra sheets, is that enough?

What’s the last thing you ate: A ruby over at the Spice hut – no, I had a kebab about an hour ago. Washed it down with a Boddington’s.

Describe your last dream: I was drowning in a sea of beautiful women. Probably. I never remember my dreams.

Coke or Pepsi: Coke – with a fuckton of rum in it.

Bond - Connery or Craig: Neither. I’m a Roger Moore man.

Kirk or Picard: Kirk – what a player

Football or baseball: football – fucking waste of time, baseball.

Sexiest part of a female: Her taste. Well, Sydney’s taste.

What do you like most about your other half: They let me watch

First words she spoke to you were: “I’ve  have been looking forward to meeting you, sir, but I can see your reputation doesn’t do you justice.”

Your response was: “Shall I take that as a compliment, Ms Chapin?”

Last gift you gave to her: A Keurig coffee maker. And a cat-o-nine tails flogger custom designed for Dahlra, specific to his hand size, weight and height. Ah, love amongst the deviants!

The most romantic thing you ever did for her: Romance is in the eye of the beholder.

The most romantic thing she’s ever done for you: One night Sydney had too much wine, and she did a strip tease for Dahlra and me. I don’t know if that’s considered romantic, but it was horny as fuck.

Anything you’d change about her: Yeah, but that’s private.

Best friend: Dahlra Gar

Last time you cried: Fuck off!

Last time you laughed: Watching Dahlra after I bet him a case of Jameson’s reserve that he couldn’t make dinner in 10 minutes. It was like watching The Generation Game. He got his whisky, though.

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